


The group chat nobody needed

by TheHypophreniaOfEigengrau



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Drunk Texting, F/F, M/M, Other, Relationship(s), Sorry Not Sorry, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-05-24 02:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14945882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHypophreniaOfEigengrau/pseuds/TheHypophreniaOfEigengrau
Summary: This sucks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This sucks.

 

 

 _ **Too Cool**_ added _**A_Beck**_ , _**QueenZo**_ , **_XxSmokeWeed420xX_** , and _**EvanHansen**_ to _**The Cronchiest Cronch.**_

 _ **Too Cool:**_ WAKE THE FUCK UP BITCHES

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ it's fucking 3 am tf do y ou want

 _ **Too Cool:**_ I have news so yall need to know

 _ **Too Cool:** _ So wake up

 _ **Too Cool:** _ L I K E

 ** _Too Cool:_** N O W

 _ **QueenZo:** _ Why are you blowing up my phone? I have school tomorrow and unlike some people I actually attend.

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_  I can sense the salt from here, so buck up bitch

 _ **QueenZo:** _ wait

 _ **QueenZo:**_ why aren't you in your room?

 _ **QueenZo:** _ Where are you connor? Like fr

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_  Unimportant. Back to your news Kleinman

 _ **Too Cool:** _ We have to wait till the others are upppppp

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Yeah I don't think we should wake evan up, He's so peaceful when he's asleep.

 _ **Too Cool:**_ totallyyyy not stalkerish

 _ **QueenZo:** _ I'm kinda concerned now.

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ It's not like that. I'm over @ Evan's house.

 _ **Too Cool:**_ ;))))))))) so have you both finally admitted how gay you are for one another?????

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Uh no.

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ He had a panic attakc and asked me to come over

 _ **Too Cool:** _ "attakc"

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ fuck you

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ He's sleeping on me so it's kinda hard to type

 _ **QueenZo:** _ I have no idea what Evan likes about you :( im concerned for him

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ fuck you too

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ you know what I'm not that monster you keep saying I am

 _ **QueenZo:** _ Never called you a monster, you're just mentally unstable.

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ please go shove a catcus up your ass and goodnight.

 _ **QueenZo:** _ Whatever.

 _ **Too Cool:** _ But I never got to tell you my news.

 _ **Too Cool:**_ Guys

 _ **Too Cool:**_ Hellooooooooooo

 _ **Too Cool:**_ My uncle's giving me his cabin over the break and I wanted you shits (not u evan) to come with me

  
**•**  
**•**  
**•**  
**•**

 

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ Good Morning Everyone.

 _ **Too Cool:**_ Morning to you too ( ﾟヮﾟ)

 _ **Too Cool:**_ you seem to be in a good mood

 _ **Too Cool:**_ is it cause your bf spent the night? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ No.

 _ **A_Beck:** _ I like how there's literally no one up and it's 6am

 _ **Too Cool:**_ well there's me and treeboi

 _ **Too Cool:** _ Also you missed the murphy brawl last night

 _ **A_Beck**_ : Technically it was this morning.... what's this about going to a cabin over the break??

 _ **Too Cool:** _ Ohhhhh ye. My uncle is giving me his cabin and I don't wanna go alone and it's pretty big (that's what she said)

 _ **A_Beck:** _ I don't know, I have some other things I have to take care of

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ I can go

 _ **Too Cool:**_ K. Btw does anyone know when double trouble is going to be online??

 _ **EvanHansen:** _ Connor's still asleep.

 _ **A_Beck:**_ and Zoe is probably too

 _ **Too Cool:**_ Someone  W A K E  them up

 _ **QueenZo:** _ I'm actually up already.

 _ **Too Cool:** _ So we're only missing the edge lord?

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ don't call me that

 _ **Too Cool:** _ and on queue he enters. Now then are you fucks going to go to the cabin with me??

 _ **QueenZo:**_ Idk, I would go but Alana isn't soooooo

 _ **Too Cool:**_ Pleas.

 _ **Too Cool:** _ You can't leave me with these two gays.

 _ **EvanHansen:** _ We're just close friends

 _ **Too Cool:**_ Do you see any of my friends coming over and spending the night constantly?

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ You don't have friends tho

 _ **Too Cool:**_ Shut it hottopic

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ so you admit i'm hot?

 _ **Too Cool:**_ nah...anyways treeboi you want a lift to school?

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ no. I'm taking a mental health day, but if it's no trouble could you get me the work I'll miss?

 _ **Too Cool:**_ No problemo ;)

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ btw ev's mom walked in and literally just asked if we wanted pancakes

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ like no questions about why I was in her son's bed when i should be @ home

 _ **Too Cool:** _ That's cause she thinks your dating evan

 _ **Too Cool:** _ I mean everyone thinks you are anyways

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ I wonder why....

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to put some actually writing in each chapter so..enjoy ig

_**Too Cool** _ changed his name to _**Jaredfromsubway.**_

 _ **Jaredfromsubway**_ changed the group name from **The Cronchiest Cronch** to **The Dirty Dozen**

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Wtf

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ sorry but while ur in there defiling poor innocent evan im gon keep myself entertained

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ We are on the fucking couch.

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Talking

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ for now

 _ **A_Beck:** _ is the cabin trip not working out so well?

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ The place has no fucking heat

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ Connor, watch your language

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Fuck you

 _ **EvanHansen:** _ oh.......sorry

 **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** I mean no

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Crap now he's burried himself under all the blankets

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ He won't come from under them

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ Jesus christ

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Evan I'm sorry, please

 

* * *

 

Connor typed fiercely into his phone while he watched as Evan dissappeared into the moutain of blankets the two had stolen.

He heard Evan's phone go off, indicating he was getting his messages but was just blatantly hurt, which surprised no one since he did get over emotional sometimes.

"Evan~"Connor cooed, trying to coax the younger boy out. "Look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to curse at you."

Evan did not reply in return, So Connor made his way under the blankets to see the blonde boy curled up with his phone in his hand as he purposely continued to ignore him. Once his blue eyes had met Evan's a small smile appeared on his thin lips, causing Connor to smile himself. "I-I'm not upset at-t yo-u." Evan began, "I-It's just cold."

"I must admit it is pretty warm under here. Mind if I stay?" He asked.

"S-Sure. The more the merrier." Evan mumbled, scooting slight over so that Connor had more than enough room to get comfortable, before going back to looking at his screen.

**°~Meanwhile~°**

_**Jaredfromsubway:**_ 10 bucks they're making out or some shit

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ For your information we aren't

 _ **EvanHansen:** _ Yeah

 _ **A_Beck:** _ what are you two doing?

 _ **QueenZo:**_ that is a good question

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Nothing

 _ **EvanHansen:** _ We're under a bunch of these blankets we found since it's freezing and Jared took the only electric heater.

 _ **A_Beck:**_ JARED

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ Whatttttt? I'm too cool to get sick

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ It's okay if I'm going to get sick atleast I'll have someone to talk to

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ :)

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ Y'all are so gay like just fuck already

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Kleinman if you don't stfu I will kick open that door and beat tf out of you

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ I'm soooooo scared

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ Oh shit

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ Is he actuall

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ Connor locked Jared in a closet

 **A_Beck:** Oh the irony

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ btw I stole the heater

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ Okay but can yall lemme out cause its cold and all I have are a couple of blankets

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ should have thought have that before you decided to be a little bitch

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ Evannnnnnnnn

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ You cant leavr me in a closet.

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ You're stuck in there, shithead. -Connor.

 _ **EvanHansen:** _ Had to steal Evan's phone before Jared could guilt trip him.

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ But its colllllllllllllllld

 _ **EvanHansen:** _ Sorry gtg, Me and Evan are gonna watch a movie

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_  
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

_**Jaredfromsubway**_ : Guess who has a fucking cold and is now spending the remainder of break at home

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Is it you, mr too cool??

_**EvanHansen:**_ Sorry, but connor wouldn't let go of me so i wasn't allow to free you.

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ yeah yeah but you need to seriously tame ur bf

_**EvanHansen:** _ He's not my boyfriend

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ But do you like him????

_**EvanHansen:**_ I mean yeah of course I do

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ I like you too ev

_**A_Beck:**_ Oh my is this a treebros moment??

_**QueenZo:** _ prob not

_**QueenZo:** _ My brother is too evil for pure little evan

_**EvanHansen:**_ Connor isn't that bad

_**Jaredfromsubway:**_ Minus the anger and the daddy issues he's a real hoot.

_**EvanHansen:**_ He isn't a perfect but he's trying. He just needs love and support, I mean don't you think sometimes your just too mean to him?

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ nah

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Ev, open ur window i need to tell you something

_**Jaredfromsubway:**_ I swear he just stays close by evan's house just to stalk him

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ Like zoe when was the last time he was at home since we returned??

_**QueenZo:**_ Maybe like a day or so ago

_**A_Beck:**_ Do you think their confessing their undying love to each other?

_**Jaredfromsubway:**_ nah

_**QueenZo:**_ I guess we can only hope and dream tho

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ yall have some messed up dreams

_**A_Beck:** _ you ship them more than we do though.

_**Jaredfromsubway:**_ tru dat

_**QueenZo:**_ What do you think theyre talking bout tho?

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ maybe connor grew a pair and told ev

_**EvanHansen:** _ he kissed me

_**EvanHansen:** _ CONNOR KISSED ME

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ i fucKING KNEW IT

_**A_Beck:**_ the ship has sailed

_**QueenZo:** _ Oh shit, spill the dets

_**EvanHansen:**_ Well I walked to window and he was up in the tree that's there and so I called out to him and he got closer then we kissed, but he pulled apart and ran off.

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ wtf y

_**QueenZo:**_ Leave it to my brother to do something like that

_**A_Beck:** _ How was the kiss?

_**EvanHansen:** _ I don't know, it was my first one so it's not like I have anyone to compare him with

_**Jaredfromsubway:**_ ;) I can change that

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ stay tf away from him

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ Oh my, I didn't think you'd be in here for a while. How are you kiss stealer?

_**EvanHansen:**_ Connor please come back so we can talk about this

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ No

  
_This conversation is between **EvanHansen** and **XxSmokeWeed420xX**_

  
_**EvanHansen:** _ Connor please

_**EvanHansen:** _ I know I'm probably annoying you, but it's important that we talk

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Why?

_**EvanHansen:** _ I

_**EvanHansen:** _ I like you connor

_**EvanHansen:**_ and I liked the kiss too

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Wha

_**EvanHansen:** _ Sorry that was probably too much..I'll just leave you alone

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ NO

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ I'm on my way rn

 

* * *

 

Connor let himself in the front door, using the spare key that was usually hidden in the fern outside before making his way up to Evan's room. His heart was practically bursting out his chest through each step until he was exactly in front of the door.

Knocking on it slowly, Connor opened the door and announced himself. "Ev, It's me."

Evan sat there on his bed; His duvet wrapped around him tightly as he looked up from his phone to meet the lonely blue eyes of his friend. "H-Hey...uh-I-um so should we-ah I..S-Should we talk about what happened?" The blonde boy mumbled, clearly anxious.

"Look ev, I'm sorry it's just you're always so fucking nice to me even though I'm such a dick." Connor started, plopping down on the bed next to Evan, running his hand through his long, brown locks.

Evan scooted next to him, placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's fine. I-uh was sorta-kinda was ah-uh wondering er-well if y-you would..d-do it again." The blonde boy began, fiddling with his thumbs.

Connor looked over at him and without hiestantion he placed his lips onto Evan's, while one hand made its way to the side of his face.

**°~Meanwhile~°**

_**Jaredfromsubway:** _ I have twenty bucks that their doing it rn

_**QueenZo:** _ can you not? I don't need that image scarring me for the rest of my life if they are.


	4. Chapter 4

_**EvanHansen:** _ Guys..Connor and I are dating :)

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ We all knew it was comin

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ like fr mr edge lord has been drooling over you for like a year and half

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ have not

 _ **QueenZo:** _ I remember once I caught him literally staring at Evan's ass and when I called him out about it, He just blushed and walked out.

 _ **QueenZo:** _ It was the first time Ive ever seen him blush. It was so weird.

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ in my defense ev has a nice ass

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ tru

 _ **EvanHansen:** _ Could we please change the subject?

 _ **A_Beck:** _ I agree. This conversation has taken a turn for the worse.

 _ **A_Beck:**_ Everyone knows Zoe's ass is nicer

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ Alana your gay is showing

 _ **QueenZo:** _ thanks babe

 _ **A_Beck:**_ :)

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ that's gay

 _ **QueenZo:** _ your gay

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ tru that

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ Would you guys want to come over? My mom is at work and the storm is getting kinda bad

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ I'm terrified.

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ I'll be over in a min

 _ **QueenZo:** _ My parents aren't going to let us go out.

 _ **A_Beck:**_ same

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ I being locked in the house..sorry babe

 _ **EvanHansen:**_ It's fine. It's probably nothing it won't even be that bad probably.

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ Lies

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ I just walked out and I'm more than certain I saw a house go up in the wind and to Oz.

 _ **A_Beck:** _ if we die I just want you all to know I only loved two things in this world...my precious bean child, Evan and my beloved wife, Zoe.

 _ **QueenZo:**_ aww

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Ew

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ dudes evan's literally crying rn

 _ **A_Beck:** _ Why? What happened?

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ He's having a really bad panic attack cause of the storm

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ He doesn't want any of us + his mom to get hurt and die

 _ **QueenZo:** _ Jesus stop texting us and help him out

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ Idk how

 _ **A_Beck:**_ Try having him take deep breaths

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Make sure he's sitting up and have him tell you 5 things he can see, 4 things he can touch, 3 things he can hear, 2 things he can smell, and 1 thing he can taste. After that grab one of his blankets put it over him and just sit with him for a while and reassure him everything will be alright. He most likely will fall asleep right after all of that..so yeah

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ K

 _ **A_Beck:**_ How do you know all of this?

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ ive learned since ev has a lot of panic attacks

 _ **QueenZo:** _ i feel so bad for him

 _ **QueenZo:**_ cause he's so distraught over the idea of us getting injured

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ I want to go over there

 _ **A_Beck:**_ Why don't you?

 _ **A_Beck:**_ Cause tbh I have no trust in jared to calm my poor child down

 _ **QueenZo:** _ Don't be an idiot. You could get hurt and then Evan really will start freaking out.

 

* * *

 

Connor sighed out in frustration, sitting on the couch next to Zoe as both teens indulged themselves in their phones, except he couldn't help himself but to worry of Evan's current condition.

Watching as he bit his bottom lip, Zoe placed a hand on his shoulder. "He's going to be alright."

Silence washed over the house and Connor stood up, deciding he needed some time alone. "Goodnight." He mumbled before heading up the stairs.

Zoe watched him disappear before let out a sigh over her own and turning her attention back to the chat.

 **°~Meanwhile~°**  
   
_**Jaredfromsubway:**_ he's ded

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ thxs connor

 _ **QueenZo:** _ Connor's upset rn

 _ **A_Beck:**_ I really do hope Evan actually isn't dead

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ your lack of faith is disturbing

 ** _XxSmokeWeed420xX:_** How's evan?

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ well after i got him to calm down he just fell asleep..so id say 10/10

 _ **A_Beck:** _ I find it oddly cute how much Connor cares for Evan.

 _ **QueenZo:** _ eh

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:**_ that's cauze they in luvvvvv

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ stfu kleinman, I will kick your ass

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ sPaNk mE dAdDy

 _ **QueenZo:** _...

 _ **A_Beck:** _ I'm concerned

 _ **XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ wtf

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ Guyyyyyyyyys

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ I was raiding evan's bathroom and i found his stash of bath bombs

 _ **Jaredfromsubway:** _ legit gonna steal em

 


	5. Chapter 5

_**Jaredfromsubway**_ changed his name to _**I've caught the gay™️**_

_**I've caught the gay™️:**_ So..I think you homos turned me gay

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ I didn't think you were straight to begin with

_**I've caught the gay™️:** _ um yeah I was

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ then why were always lowkey hitting on my boyfriend?

_**EvanHansen:**_ Jared never hit me?

_**A_Beck:**_ He's such an adorable bean

_**A_Beck:**_ Zoe please can we adopt him???

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ You're not going to adopt my boyfriend

_**I've caught the gay™️:**_ Can we have this fight l8r??????

_**I've caught the gay™️:**_ I'm having a midlife crisis

_**EvanHansen:**_ What happened?

_**I've caught the gay™️:** _ I was at this party and I met this boy in the bathroom and he's fucking hot af even tho he was crying...but he's name is Michael and hes really cool

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ wait...

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Omfg I think I know who u talking about

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ Michael Mell?

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Hah

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX**_ added _**BlazingMell**_ to **The Dirty Dozen**

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ coNNOR

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ wHy?

_**BlazeItMell:** _ uh..Hello?

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Hey Michael

_**BlazeItMell:** _ hey connor...what's this?

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ a group chat obv

_**QueenZo:**_  How do you two know each other?

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ We have the same dealer

_**A_Beck:**_ Oh wow

_**BlazeItMell:**_ Yeah..

_**EvanHansen:**_ Well it's nice to meet you, Michael. I'm Evan.

_**BlazeItMell:**_ yeah I know. Connor talks about you all the time

_**EvanHansen:**_ What does he say? Is it anything bad? Does he secretly hate me?

_**BlazeItMell:**_ Nope :3 he's so in love with you. He talks about your eyes a lot and called your stutters, and I quote "the most adorable thing in the world."

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Why the fuck would you think I secretly hate you, ev??

_**EvanHansen:** _ sorry I just thought this was just some elaborate plan and in reality all of you really do hate me.

_**A_Beck**_ changed the group name from **The Dirty Dozen** to **Evan Hansen Protection Squad**

_**QueenZo:**_ am I the only one concerned that my brother is like high off of Evan?

_This conversation is between **EvanHansen** and **XxSmokeWeed420xX**_

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ I love you ev

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ but if you keep doubting yourself we're going to have a problem

_**EvanHansen:** _ Sorry

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Don't apologize, K?

_**EvanHansen:**_ okay..I love you too, connor

_ Back in The _ **Evan Hansen Protection Squad**

_**A_Beck:** _ I find it cute how connor cares about evan

_**BlazeItMell:**_ yeah he's been a lot nicer since they've met

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ I think it's pretty gay

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Your gay

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ Bitch I might be

_**BlazeItMell:**_ Question

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ What?

_**BlazeItMell:** _ Why have I been added here?

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Oh...Yeah well u see

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ ConNOR i SWeAR tO gOD PLeaSe

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ Don't

_**A_Beck:** _ Why can't you type like a normal person?

_**BlazeItMell:**_ ???

This conversation is between _**XxSmokeWeed420xX**_ and _**BlazeItMell**_

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ My friend is questioning his sexuality because of u

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ He saw u at some party ig and he likes you likes you

_**BlazeItMell:**_ ohhhhh, jared right?

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ yeah, what happened that night? Usually he's a troll so I wouldn't expect you to hang out with him

_**BlazeItMell:** _ He was actually really sweet...I was upset and he cheered me up, we even went to some little dinner and talked a lil while later

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Like a date?

_**BlazeItMell:**_ I guess

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ I mean he isn't that bad, although he's an asshole you should ask him out.

_**BlazeItMell:** _ maybe I will

_**BlazeItMell:**_ thx connor next time allow me to buy for you

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ tell anyone anyone including jared about this conversation I will kill you

_Back in the_ **Evan Hansen Protection Squad**

_**QueenZo:**_ Idk whos worse with showing a lil bit of emotion jared or connor

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ uM IM NOT THAT BAD THANK YOU

_**EvanHansen:**_ Connor's not that bad either.

_**A_Beck:**_ I love how no matter what we say Evan always has Connor's back

_**A_Beck:**_ That's true love right there

_**QueenZo:**_ Didn't Connor call you a freak and push you down the first time you met?????

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ I can sense someone talking shit so fight me

_**EvanHansen:** _ Yes but he made it up to me

_**QueenZo:**_ How?

_**EvanHansen:**_ It's a secret

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ probably sucked his dick

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Um..no go fuck yourself

_**EvanHansen:**_ Connor..watch your language please

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ ......Fine..but its only cause you asked 

_**BlazeItMell:** _ I want a love story like evan and connor

_**A_Beck:**_ Who doesn't?

_**QueenZo:**_ um sane people

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ whos sane anymore?

_**QueenZo:**_ Apparently just me

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what this chapter even is

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ I just realized Jail isn't as bad as some people think.

_**A_Beck:**_ What?

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ like you get food brought to you and you get to meet new and dangerous friends

_**QueenZo:** _ Did I miss something??

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Jared got arrested the other day :)

_**A_Beck:**_ Omg what happened? What did he do?

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ The cops said it was because I'm too cool

**_XxSmokeWeed420xX:_ ** Nah you not

_**BlazeItMell:** _ I thought it was because you stole 40+ bath bombs from Lush and assaulted a security guard

_**A_Beck:** _ OH MY GOD JARED WHY

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ doN'T JUDGE ME

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ and How did you know that? Like you stalking me?

_**BlazeItMell:** _ No, I was there with my friends

_**BlazeItMell:** _ I took a video btw if anyone wanna see it

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX** **:**_ Please send it

_**BlazeItMell**_ _has sent an attachment_

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ xD Look at poor Evan in the background.

_**A_Beck:** _ I feel so bad for him ;-;

_**QueenZo:**_ Has anyone heard from him lately?

_**A_Beck:** _ I haven't spoken to him since Friday..

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ He won't respond to my text so....

_**BlazeItMell:** _ He's the one that wears the blue polo, right?

_**QueenZo:** _ Yeah

_**BlazeItMell:** _ I'm not sure but I think he was arrested too

_**A_Beck:** _ FOR WHAT? HE COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING

_**BlazeItMell:**_ Idk

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ Ev wasn't arrested though I swear. It was just me.

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ WHAT IF THEY KIDNAPPED HIM AND ARE HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ I don't think they would do that. Maybe he's just grounded or something.

_**A_Beck:** _ Tru

_**BlazeItMell:** _ I have a question

_**A_Beck:** _ What is it?

_**BlazeItMell:** _ am I the only one who's curious on how jared is texting us from prison?

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ Oh my cellmate has a phone..sort of. His name's Erik, He's really nice.

_**A_Beck:** _ They just let him have a phone?

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ No, he has some contacts or some shit like that. He somewhat runs the prison.

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ What's he in for?

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ Murder and Kidnapping

_**BlazeItMell:** _ wELL THEN

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ I mean he's really chill tho

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ are you not scared at all?

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ No, I think he likes me

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Are you his prison bitch?

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ maybe

_**A_Beck:**_ Wtf

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ Anyway I gotta go. He said if I don't give him back the phone he's gon shank me so ttyl~♡♡♡

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Wow. That's concerning

_**QueenZo:** _ Do you think he's...you know..doing stuff with erik?

_**A_Beck:** _ define stuff

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX**_ : She wants to know if he's fucking the dude

_**A_Beck**_ : oh, i really hope not

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyy people actually enjoy this story for some reason idk why, but thanks xD

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ Guys like I'm /serious/ has no one talked to Evan? I'm concerned now

_**A_Beck:**_ No. Should we go over to his house and check on him?

_**QueenZo:**_ I think someone should. It's been like what two weeks?

_**BlazeItMell:**_ A week and five days

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ That's it I'm going to go find him

_**A_Beck:**_ Wait I think I see him @ the mall. He's with some tall dude. Oml I think that's his dad

_**QueenZo:**_ Didn't his dad leave tho when he was like 7?

_**A_Beck:**_ Evan looks seriously uncomfortable

_**QueenZo:** _ well, connor just rushed out the door.

_**BlazeItMell:**_ on his way to see his bf ;-;

_**BlazeItMell:**_ Evan's so luckyyyy

_**QueenZo:** _ that's debatable

_**A_Beck:** _ Michael quick question. Are you with anyone?

_**BlazeItMell**_ : No...I..er It's kinda complicated.

_**BlazeItMell:**_ There's this boy I like but a) he's straight b) he's with someone

_**A_Beck:** _ oh, I know how that feels.

_**A_Beck:**_ Back when Zoe was dating Evan I used to be soooooo jealous. Although u don't seem jealous

_**BlazeItMell:** _ I'm not. I'm happy for him

_**QueenZo:**_ you'll find someone eventually :)

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ psssst I can be that someone

_**QueenZo:**_ Ur in prison tho

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ Not for much longer lol

_**BlazeItMell:**_ Are you planning an escape.....?

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ No I have a court date coming up ;) but for you I would.

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ hah gay

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ Dude u cant say that

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ especially since ur dick's been in evans ass

_**QueenZo:**_ PLEASE CAN YOU NOT

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ Oh come on, Don't act like u don't know

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ Connor is a horndog and Evan's a bottom.

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ That's what you think.

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ eXCUSE ME

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ Are you telling me you Connor, Imma throw a printer at you, Murphy was dominated by the human form of anxiety evan hansen?????

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:**_ What he lacks in confidence he makes up with his size

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ and we switch btw

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Some days its him and Other its me.

_**QueenZo:** _ caN WE PLS CANGE THE TOPIC

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ 'cange'

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ what is a cange dear zoe?

_**QueenZo:** _ Fuck you

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ sorry I'm gay

_**A_Beck:**_ good answer...-_-

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ guys we have an issue

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ what is it?

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ Evan's grandma passed away and his father's only back in town to try and collect the life insurance, which is supposed to go to him. So I may end up joining jared in prison if I find this asswipe

_**I've caught the gay™:** _ WHAT?! NANA DIED....

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ dude...Kill that asshole

_**A_Beck:** _ I agree

_**BlazeItMell:** _ Don't wanna be an accomplice but x_x him

_**I've caught the gay™:**_ so adorable

_**QueenZo:** _ Or we could not turn to murder¿¿¿ Just grab Evan and come home....and don't kill anyone either.

_**XxSmokeWeed420xX:** _ no promises

 


End file.
